5 Things to Do if You're Feeling Crap
So I feel like I need to be more in control of my moods right now as I can swing from feeling pretty elated and positive to a bit down in the dumps at a drop of a hat. A big life change can do that to you. Now that I'm older mumble mumble, I feel like I have some pretty good strategies in place in terms of things that make me feel better.
So just in case you're going through a rough time and need a bit of a hand, here's what works for me:
1. Breathe properly
This sounds kind of obvious but I lived most of my life not breathing properly and wondering why I felt awful. I was constantly panting. Now if I'm feeling like I might be about to get some sort of cosmic, anxiety attack I breathe. And the minute I take a deep breath in and then slowly breathe out again, I feel better. It's that easy.
2. Phone a friend (but be careful which one)
We never really talk on the phone anymore these days do we? But sometimes that's exactly what you need. Just be careful that you choose a friend who will make you feel better about your life versus one who will contribute to your state of panic and anxiety. Yes to the friend who wants to talk about pop socks and whether they go with brogues and NO to the friend who asks you whether you've got house insurance because just in case because what happens if your HOUSE BURNS DOWN TOMORROW? HEY? WHAT HAPPENS?
Okay keeping clean is a good move if you're sinking into a fug but I mean a proper bath with bubbles and maybe essential oils. My friend tipped me off to putting 5 drops of essential oil in the bath with one cup of milk (or drink a glass of Baileys and forget about the bath). This doesn't cost a gazillion quid and yet feels very luxurious. The bath needs to be hot. It needs to be really hot. It needs to not have a child in it.
4. Write down your thoughts and fears
This is a good one. Sometimes you don't even need to write them down but just say them out loud. Say things like I AM NEVER GOING TO WORK AGAIN or I AM SO OLD AND MY FACE LOOKS LIKE A WRINKLED PAPER BAG. Just saying it, makes it lose some of its power. The truth is we are all afraid. We used to be hunted by bears. Fear is useful in that context. It isn't if you need to make tea, get a child into bed, order an Ocado, email a few million people and do it all without going batshit crazy.
5. Watch Bridesmaids (especially the scene where they all poo themselves in the bridal shop)
Also try 'Sleeper' by Woody Allen (when he has the inflatable suit and flies around) or try any episode of 'Absolutely Fabulous' (mainly Patsy getting out of a car in the middle of the night, with her lipstick smeared all over her face). Watch 'Blazing Saddles'. 'The Three Amigos'. 'The Jerk'. Anything with Steve Martin in it (the early years). Watch 'National Lampoon's Family Vacation'. Don't listen to Radiohead and step away from sad films about relationships disintegrating and end of the world narratives (unless they cheer you up).
And finally steer clear of people who have negative energy. I know this sounds like clap trap but you need to preserve your strength. Once you're feeling better you'll be ready to be drained by their negative energy once more.
Oh yes and watch 'The Jerk', I know I've mentioned it but if you haven't seen it, it's possibly one of the greatest films in the entire world.